You know, I’m a lazy motherfucker sometimes. Especially when it comes to writing. It’s hard to turn my thoughts into words. It never ever comes out the way that I want it to.
But when I come here and type what I’m feeling, there is a motif that outweighs my laziness. It’s always pain. I do this to relieve anger and sorrow.
Today my best friend told me that she didn’t care to see things the way that I do. Since she doesn’t care to, I’ll have to write about it in my online private diary like any adult would.
Bloggers are coming out of no where these days. They see it as using the modern world to make fame or money, easier. Blogging is easy for these people. They just find something that they feel any type of way about and target an audience that they know will feel the same way. They target the people that just stroll through facebook and find articles that sound agreeable to them. This way, it is sure that they will get read. They don’t target environments that wouldn’t feel the same way. They wouldn’t write a scholarly article that requires research and reflection. Especially since writing this article may lead to no gratification but would be done purely for the sake of bettering the world. That article wouldn’t get a million shares on facebook. It wouldn’t even go on facebook.
With that being said, I was on facebook yesterday. I saw a friend share a blog post labeled, “I’m not a feminist, and that is okay.”
Whew, just a copy and paste of that bad boy gets me heated.
The article starts with her being in class and answering no, when someone asks if shes a feminist. She says that they try to explain it to her and that she understands but does not agree. I’m not sure what these people are explaining to her, but I know that feminism is such a broad and emotional topic, no one could possibly explain it during a couple minutes of class mingling. You have to experience something to understand. Whether that something be experienced first hand, by someone you know or even through much reading and informative environments. You have to feel empathy dwelling.
To begin, she quotes something that seems to be something that a “feminist” must have asked her.
“Why are women considered the more domestic and nurturing ones?” Come on, guys. Speak slowly.
She answers with a predictable response reminding us that women are more nurturing because they carried a child and she reminds us that it is okay to be a mother and take care of the home. She also says that feminists would not have you believing these things.
Okay. Of course women are more nurturing. We are literally capable of feeding a small human from our titty. That’s pretty bad ass. We are also able to care for children, our home, our husband and have a full time job. OR not have a job. That’s the thing. The things that women are capable of that men aren’t is more feminine (and by this I don’t mean society’s definition of feminine that must satisfy certain gender roles to fit) than anything. Feminists will not tell you that doing any of that is not feminine or not okay.
The main problem here is that there is this huge, false stigma attached to the word feminist or feminism that makes certain people automatically run the opposite way. Stop attaching a bad stigma to that word. Do you believe in equal rights? Yeah, everyone does. That’s not what it’s about. If you believe in equal rights and you want to have a family and take care of your home and husband, you can still be a feminist. You’re a feminist if you realize that you have choice. Stop being afraid to fall into a category that the people that sometime surround you do not understand.
Being a feminist is not:
This is the most common incorrect assumption. Men just happen to be the only other recognized gender. They are actually effected by it just as strongly, just not to the same extent or in the same way. Men are effected by what feminists are fighting, right at birth. When they are put into a society that through much discrete influence, makes it alright to do things that belittle the opposite recognized gender. I don’t hate men. I feel just as deeply for them because they often can’t even see the harm. IT’S NOT ANY MAN OR WOMAN’S FAULT.
being allergic to ancient gender roles.
I cook and clean more than any woman I know. And I love doing it. I want to mother a child one day. None of these things make any person less of a feminist. It actually makes them more feminine. In the ways of society AND in a loud proud feminist kind of way. What women are capable of doing is amazing. Feminist aren’t trying to convince you not to do these things. They are just reminding you that you have a choice.
ignoring “how far” women have come.
Speaking of choice..yes, at one point in time women HAD to fulfill the stay at home mom role. They also had to fuck their husbands any time he wanted it. Women have come a long way. But why did we have to come any way at all? Why couldn’t we always have had choice? We may have gained more rights and are being taken more seriously but that would have never happened if it weren’t for “feminists.” Maybe you are content because you haven’t experienced any trauma.You can vote. You see no issues worth discussing. Just because something hasn’t dramatically effected you (to your awareness) does not mean that it isn’t a problem.
arguing or taking offense to petty things.
You may run across someone who has experienced parts of modern culture that stand strongly for equal rights. This person passionately spoke when the opportunity was given. But it is also likely that this person doesn’t grasp things in a way that positively influences the issue that they seem to be arguing for.They may however have experienced something so painful it’s difficult to live without fighting the source for that pain. A chatterbox feminist could come off as judgemental or pushy. That is why you can’t force people to see things in a certain light. You can however, write about it in your online diary.
Once someone realizes that society’s definition of feminist is just as wrong as society’s definition of feminism and they realize that caring about feminist issues or merely admitting that it IS A THING doesn’t sign them up for a horrible life altering position, then they will care about it at least enough to not share uneducated blog posts concerning very real issues. They will at least care about it when they realize that caring about these issues shows love for people in their life that may have been through some fucked up shit because of the objectification (effecting men and women) of women in society. When they realize the way society sees women, whether awake or passed out on their own fucking couch, they’ll understand. They’ll care about the reason that horrible things happen and know that it is also the reason that little can be done about it. It will anger them, maybe not to the extent of being one of those “feminatzis” that people talk so badly of but at least enough to speak up when it’s brought up. Being aware of the issue isn’t for us, now. It’s for the better of the future. For our children, that you can still have even if you are a feminist.